BDSM has existed for years, but it is a topic most people used to shy away from, but their inner fantasies always yearned for it. There are dozens of exciting things, elements to it… And we’re going to dive into the main basics and some of the popular intricacies that you’d need to know before jumping in!

What Is BDSM 

BDSM is a construct for people who love their bodies and sex, it has nothing to do with psychological problems. Moreover, it allows you to explore your body and experience pleasure in ways you can never imagine. Most people describe it as rather kinky, but you might be shocked to know that some acts of BDSM might not even include sex. Yeah, that’s right, in some cases, it is purely caressing and arousal without penetration!

The practice of BDSM is mainly centered on making your partner a sex slave and sexually “torturing” them in different “scenes”. Whether you are sexy singles who just hooked up for a night of casual sex or you are in a long-term relationship, BDSM might give that magical spark.

BDSM Pack – What You Need to Establish before Indulging!

Consent 

Consent is one of the first things you need to get first before you and your partner engage in BDSM. Although it has been pretty popular and widely accepted in recent years, there are still people who are skeptical of BDSM and view it in a bad light which is why it is important to first highlight to your partner what you want to engage in precisely. Surprise BDSM is never a good idea, your partner might freak out, and you may end up with more problems than pleasure. The first step is knowing whether your partner is cool with BDSM, once this is out of the way, we can get into the exciting bits.

BDSM Roleplay

There are two main roles when it comes to BDSM: the dominant and the submissive. Before engaging, you should decide on who plays what role. The dominant top is the one that gives the orders and loves to inflict pain (the sadist). The bottom is the one that is in a way “sex slave”. These roles are completely interchangeable depending on your preferences. At this stage, you discuss what you plan to do and how you want to do it, and you also choose the tools you are going to use in your bedroom adventure. 

The good thing about BDSM is that it has no set rules or anything of what is right or proper. Rather, it is all on you to decide what you want to experience. You can be two, three, or a full-blown orgy – it depends on your preferences. If you are a couple seeking a threesome for your BDSM adventure or perhaps just a curious single seeking casual sex partners, the modern dating landscape presents lots of refined online dating sites like Wickedlist that allow you to find the ideal partner(s) for that.

Setting Up Scene 

Setting up a scene is the most integral part of the whole BDSM experience, you have to be super creative about it! Most renowned BDSM experts have a saying that when deciding on the scene, you should not think with your brain but rather your private parts. The thought of the scene should make your genitals tingle and explode your imagination! If you doubt your own creativity, you can always recreate your favorite scenes from movies like 50 Shades of Grey or those special racy videos that you watch privately… wink, wink!

Depending on how much time you have, you can create several short scenes to keep the session entertaining. Every scene requires the perfect tools, and without them, the scene might end up being dull that is why you need to know and understand BDSM gear. That gear is very important, especially when it comes to the female orgasm.

BDSM Gear

The number of BDSM items that are available is so huge that you might need an entire lifetime to use them all. BDSM items are primarily chosen based on your preference, but what makes the experience exciting is often experimenting with as many tools as you can. Try to use the gear progressively as trying to take it in all at once might be overwhelming. We will run down some of the common tools.

Blindfolds 

These are essential in BDSM as they heighten the senses of the blindfolded one. Blocking the sense of sight stimulates the other senses of the body like smell and sensation. Blindfolding also adds a sense of suspense, once blindfolded one cannot see your next step, and it can be quite an exciting experience to add stuff that was not part of the scene just to surprise them.  

Nipple Clamps 

The nipples are some of the most sensitive parts of the body, and there is no better way to enjoy BDSM than adding nipples as a part of the itinerary. Nipple clamps add sensation to the nipples but get more painful as you pull along. The good thing about nipple clamps is both males and females have nipples, this means they are compatible with both. Trust me, these bad boys can turn a casual relationship to a long term commitment after one steamy session!

Ropes and Chains 

These are the most common tools when it comes to BDSM, and if you have watched any movies that have to do with BDSM scenes, you can easily agree that they made this point very clear. Most “scenes” in BDSM involve being chained, and these could be cute furry handcuffs, police handcuffs, or actual leather strap handcuffs depending on what you prefer.

Chains are very important as they signify bondage and are a major component of the entire BDSM experience. The chain might be uncomfortable for some and does not offer a great deal of flexibility, this is where ropes come in. Ropes sensualize the whole scene. You can tie the bottom in dozens of different positions and allow the bottom to be explored in ways they can barely imagine.

Whips 

If spanking and whipping are your deep-hearted fantasies, you need to invest in whips. Whips come in different sizes, and it doesn’t matter whether you are new to BDSM or a pro, there is a whip for you. If you are just starting up, and you are planning to keep the pain minimal, then the riding crop is the perfect tool for you. If you’re a pro, and you are not afraid to stretch your limits, bare leatherworks will not let you down.

BDSM Safety

As much as BDSM is mind-blowing, there is a need to make sure that it is safe and does not lead to injury or, worse, death. Before starting the session, it is important to agree on safe words. These words help to ensure that no one is hurt during the process. If any of the partners yell out the safe word, it means that they are very uncomfortable, and the session should stop forthwith.

Also, as much as it is enjoyable, it is always important to stick to safe sex. To enjoy BDSM fully, always listen to your body, and as soon as it starts giving negative signals, it is always a good idea to stop. Make sure you are communicating all the time, giving each other feedback on what to do more, and what to avoid as you expire your wild limits!

Winding Up

Ready to get the ball rolling and exploring your first BDSM session? All you need is the perfect partner who’s willing to join you on the ride! Head over to the Wickedlist online dating platform now and find yourself the perfect BDSM partner wherever you are!