It’s apparently human nature to hate or distrust what we don’t know or understand. And bisexual people seem to get the bitter end of that stick. Ironically, even the marginalized LGBT community seem to also isolate bi people as outsiders. Now, the prevailing sentiment is that bisexuality tag is all about sexual promiscuity: endless casual sex hook-ups with anything and everything that moves regardless of gender. Of course, that is just a stereotype, but is it an unfounded one?

Bisexuality – Choice or Not

This is as good a place to start as any in the quest to understand the world of bisexuals. In definition, bisexuality simply means one is attracted to both genders in general, right? Clearly, that opens up a whole lot of casual sex opportunities. Well, perhaps not just casual sex, rather any kind of sex really! However, how does one go from being either straight or gay to being bi? With those other two, one often knows from a young age based on what he/she is attracted to. Similarly, the bi people I’ve talked to about this indicate that they also realize their attraction to both genders.

However, these ‘naturally’ bi people only make up a small percentage of the total bi community in reality! Of course, such an assertion will be met with vehement denial by most bi people, but the reality is that a lot of these people exploring casual sex encounters with both men and women are doing it out of curiosity! I mean, it’s the 21st century, almost everyone (excluding the older 50+ generations) is open-minded about these issues.

Where Bisexuality Begins

What more, we all see it on TV and in the movies every day, so we are all naturally inclined to be curious! Added to this, there are lots of dating websites out there like Wickedlist full of curious people ready for casual sex with ANY gender, making it easy to hop from one bed with a girl to another with a dude, or even both at the same time! In the end, a lot of bi-sex encounters are merely exploratory casual sex meant to ‘test the waters’ rather than naturally-occurring attractions by people seeking commitment and long-term relationships! If you’re going to be exploring casual bi sex on online dating sites, just remember the dos and don’ts of online dating for a better experience!

Controversy – Sexual Opportunism

As mentioned earlier, the greatest hurdle for most bi people is the casual sex tag that they’re given: being viewed as sexual opportunists out to enjoy every type of genital out there! Where gay people hangout and seek hook-ups, a bi person can fit in and compete with them. The same person also competes for the same targets as straight people, which explains why there can be a bit of resentment on both ends.

However, is bisexuality all about sex? Also, should anyone really be concerned about what one chooses to do in their bedroom, whether it’s the curious bi people or the ‘naturally’ bi ones? It really makes no difference here. The same liberties we all have when it comes to picking our sex partners. Thus, one is free to enjoy it without stigma! After all, we all have different (sometimes queer and kinky) sexual fantasies, and we all want them to come true.

Bisexuality – Lifetime of Casual Sex?

Now, for the straight or gay community, there is a more clearly defined route in terms of relationships. You meet someone you like, have casual sex, date, catch feelings, and settle down. Of course, this is not the same for everyone. But it’s the common goal for nearly every individual. Sooner or later, you find someone who floats your boat. Then, you try to get them to stay for longer rather than just engaging in casual sex – pretty straightforward!

With bi people, this is a bit tricky because they are attracted to both genders! This sort of puts settling down ‘in honesty’ nearly impossible for some definite reasons.

• Threesomes don’t mix well with long-term relationships

Once again, this is another fact that most will vehemently resist. But it’s true! Threesomes are more of a casual sex thing. Granted, there is an increasing number of straight (men + women) couples seeking men and women to join them in bed out there. But it’s still essentially a casual sex encounter because, after the hook-up, the third party often takes his/her leave and leaves the couple to their ‘normal’ sexcapades.

• Insecurity – what happens if you miss the other gender?

So, the bi people like both dicks and vaginas, right? Hmm, if I get married to a bi guy, and I have a vagina, what happens if he misses the dick? Now, I’ve talked to quite a number of bisexual people in the context of settling down. And the answer has always been something like: ‘If I’m in love with someone of a particular gender, I commit to that alone’.

Ok, fine, let’s say we believe that line. But can you really convince your partner that you’re going strictly dick/vag for now? The answer is NO. The reality out there is that most gay and straight people DON’T trust bi people to stick to one gender!

Considering these two key points, bisexuality is often limited to casual sex, it’s a simple reality! In the end, locking down one partner will need a bit of deception. As such, we have a lot of scandalous long-term relationships in our midst. A guy is married to a woman with kids and is busy hooking up with guys in secret on online dating sites! Women are super moms with their husbands and kids but are secretly hooking up with other women! However, sometimes love knows no bounds! So make sure to check out more on how to determine if someone is right for you before committing to a long-term relationship!

What to Do – Bi Dilemma

For the curious people who cross gender norms and experiment in casual bi-sex, living a ‘normal’ life is much simpler after the experience. In fact, most people recall such experiences fondly and as a casual mischief years later. This also largely applies to the LGBT community. However, you may want to read more about circumventing some of the LGBT hurdles too!

For the naturally bi people out there, it isn’t so clear-cut. The ones I’ve talked to seem to opt for setting down within the straight community. This way, they forgo the other attraction or at least secretly engage in casual sex with the other gender.

I wouldn’t go as far as to give a solution to the dilemma, but the world is pretty much more accepting now. It, therefore, remains personal for each bi person to choose whether they want to open up about their sexuality and how they want to settle down. If you’re feeling a bit isolated, there are thousands of bi people out here ready to engage with you, either for some friendly support, casual sex, or even long-term relationships! Just sign up for a free Wickedlist account and explore your options to the fullest!