Giving up on a failing relationship could be one of the hardest choices one can make. Although we all yearn for a flawless relationship like the ones we see on TV, it is rarely the case. It is important to know that even the best of relationships have challenges. Let’s explore how you can save yours!
Building an ideal relationship takes a lot of work and might be tiring, to say the least. Walking away from something that you have invested time and emotion into is not just hard but also painful, it then becomes important to ensure that before giving up on a relationship, you first try to fix it. Fixing a relationship is rarely easy, and there is no failsafe formula on how to do it as most dating gurus claim. There are, however, some steps that are important and can ensure that your relationship is redeemed. In this article, I will highlight some of the things you can do to save your failing relationship.
Introspect, or How to Find Out if Your Relationship is Failing
The most important thing you need to do is to acknowledge that your relationship is failing. Most people tend to deny and ignore all the signs that point out that their relationship is failing only to later realize that their denial cost them something beautiful. This is usually the case with long term relationships, partners get too comfortable, and they fail to accept that they might end up breaking up.
Once you accept that your relationship is not going the way you had planned, it is important to do a deep search, and if you can, list down the reasons why your relationship is failing. You need to first look at yourself and try to identify what you are doing differently that might be causing your relationship to fail. It is easy to blame your partner for the problems that your relationship is facing, but the best thing you can do is to look at yourself and try to identify what you might be doing that caused the relationship to go down the wrong road.
Work on Problems that Make Your Relationship Failing
After coming with reasons why your relationship is failing and identifying your role in the collapse of the relationship, you need to go the extra mile to fix things. Work on yourself and try to get back to doing the things that made your partner fall for you in the first place. If you met through online dating, try to show all the positives you wrote on your profile. if they could woo them for the first time, they can still blow their mind again. Try to do away with certain habits that might be drifting your partner away from you, this might not be easy, but you must try to do it.
Discuss with Your Partner
The hardest thing to do when the relationship is failing for both partners is taking responsibility for its failure. The best thing to get around this is to find time to discuss with your partner the state of your relationship. It is important to make sure that the discussion does not turn to a witch-hunt. Try to point out the problems in your relationship without necessarily dishing out blame to your partner. Blatantly throwing out blame will do nothing but turn the discussion into an argument. The moment you sense that tempers might be starting to flare, it is a good idea to promptly end the discussion to avoid further straining relations. If you can’t find common ground, the next best thing you can do is to talk to an expert.
Talk to Expert about Your Failing Relationship
The world has hundreds of relationship experts that can offer relationship advice, and these people are the go-to-guys if you and a partner are having trouble in your relationship. There are many of these coaches, and you can choose the one best tailored to your needs and budget. A qualified psychologist with relationship expertise can help solve the problems between you and your partner. Once you decide to speak to the professional, you must open up to them, this will go a long way in helping come up with a solution to your impasse and will probably change your relationship for the better.
Make Time for Each Other
People get into relationships to have someone to spend time with them among other things. It is important to ensure that you dedicate time for your partner, this will help in keeping your relationship fluid. As people progress in their relationship, they tend to take each other’s presence for granted and begin to spend less and less time together.
In dark times when your relationship seems to be coming to an end, dedicate some time to your partner, take days off if you can just to show them how much they mean to you. It is not right to act like sexy singles when you are in a relationship, you need to show commitment to your partner, and that includes making time for them. You should also take your time when having sex. This lengthens the time you have to show each other passion and should not be done hurriedly as in the case of casual sex.
Communicate
Communication is the backbone of every relationship, and it is even more important when your relationship is failing. You should be vocal about how your relationship is going and how you would want things to work out. Communicating does not mean dictating demands to your partner. Your communication, especially when your relationship is failing, should include active listening. Give your partner time to express themselves and point out the faults in your relationship. Do not be confrontational as this will do nothing but make things worse. Check on your partner constantly, surprise them with midnight calls and try to be as present as possible.
Spice Things Up
Monotony is one of the things that can kill relationships. Doing the same thing over and over will eventually get your relationship to a point where you no longer feel excitement for each other. Spicing things up is very important, especially when your relationship is on the rocks. Try different things like taking road trips, surprise her, and just try new things that you might both enjoy. People change, and you should try to at least acknowledge the shift in your partner’s preferences, especially sexual ones. Once you identify your partner’s new wishes, try to do things tailored along with those preferences. Once the fun is back in a relationship, things are bound to get better.
Give Each Other Time
When relationships are failing, there is bound to be tension. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to give your partner time to recuperate and try to find themselves. This will also give both of you a chance to reflect on the wrongs both of you did to lead to near failing of the relationship.
Only psychologist was able to save our relationship. I’m really thankful to him because without his help, my kid would be raising without the father and with an unhappy mom.