The attraction is one subject that we cannot fully comprehend. It is spontaneous, and we are not able to pinpoint why and how it works. The mysteries of attraction are most visible in relationships. We cannot control who we are attracted to, and, in some cases, attraction can land us in quite an inconvenient position. One of the strangest cases is being attracted to a friend’s ex-lover. It is one of the most awkward situations out there. So, let’s explore whether dating a friend’s ex is worth it or not?

What Bro Code Says about Dating Your Friend’s Ex?

The Bro Code is probably the most popular code of ethics that governs a friendship. Most of the rules make sense, but some are a little controversial. The Bro Code/Girl Code is pretty explicit about dating your friend’s ex. It says it is a great transgression. The thing is not only the Bro Code goes against it. Societal norms tend to also make it quite taboo to engage in a romantic relationship with a friend’s ex-lover. It also includes casual sex. It is one of the main reasons why the situation is, in most cases, uneasy. It is very often that we get attracted to people we should not be thinking about at all. Controlling it is quite difficult and, in a way, virtually impossible. What should you do if you like your friend’s ex?

Dating Your Friend’s Ex: To Do or Not to Do?

The answer here is quite simple. The Bro Code/Girl Code says: do not do it! We also partly agree. Dating your friend’s ex can be quite difficult because of several reasons. Certain eventualities might be hard to handle, and you might end up losing both your friendship and the new relationship. Do not do it!

Yet, we know how attraction and feelings work, and your heart can’t ponder and think over the pros and cons of the decision. If you already fall in love, we know you are going to date them. That’s why we will help you do it right to make sure that you do not end up getting into problems with your friend or a new partner.

How to Date Your Friend’s Ex-Lover

We have already alluded that dating your friend’s ex might be complicated. So, if you are to do it, you need to know how to deal with it wisely. There are a few tips that will make the experience a whole lot easier. It might be hard to perform and practice them, but you just have to endure.

You Have to Accept that They May Not Be Ok with It

It is a compromise that you make the very moment you decide to make a move on their ex. Chances are they might have a hard time realizing that you are dating their ex. They will most likely take it as an act of betrayal on your side. You have to give them time to accept it, and you also need to know that they might never be ok with it. Before you decide to go through with it, you have to understand that it might lead to your friendship breaking up. If you are ok with it, then go ahead, do it, and focus on making your partner like you more.

Give Them Some Time

One thing that you should never do is make a move when your friend and their ex are still dating. Do not do it! When they finally split up, it is also a huge mistake to express your feelings just after the break-up. It is one of the main reasons why this type of relationship fails. Give your friend and their ex a little time to get over their previous relationship. Making your move too early is stupid. There will still be a lot of emotion involved. That is the last thing you would want to deal with. Give it a couple of weeks or months, and then make your move.

Your Friend Must Find Out about It from You First

One thing that will make the situation awkward is your friend finding out that you are dating their ex from someone else. You have to be first to tell them, but you should not necessarily ask for permission to date their ex from them (you are an adult). The reaction is most likely going to be negative, but do not lose hope. They will eventually come around.

Keep Your Relationship Out of Conversation

You do not need to be constantly talking about your relationship with your friend if you are dating their ex. Try to keep your couple’s life out of the conversation entirely. If your friend brings it up, try to keep it as brief as possible. You have to strike a balance between friendship and relationship. Discussing your relationship will make your friend uneasy (they might not mention it, but it will). That could even lead to fights between you two.

Do Not Let Your Friendship Dampen Your Relationship

By choosing your friend’s ex, you have decided that you like them that much. We know that a little guilt might arise, but do not let your friendship dampen your relationship. Enjoy your time with the partner as much as you can. At the end of the day, you cannot let your friends manage your life. You have to understand that it is completely ok to date whoever you like.

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