A term that is universal among the dating and relationship experts is “game”. Mr. Locario, also known as the “Bad Boy of the Dating Game” from New York City, claims relationships and dating to be games. He is sure that it’s all about a game. It’s all about acquiring a skill and a strategy to implement and get what you have set your eyes upon. Very much like a predator, stalking its desired prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce!
Doubting the existence of such skills? Trust me, the ‘game’ takes decisive effort and abilities. We even use those skills in other aspects of our lives such as when making new friends, or obtain a vocation, or even when starting a business. Even science can back us here. A renowned psychologist, Dr. Gardner, acknowledged that this dating game demands interpersonal intelligence, which happens to be one of the nine types of intelligence.
Think about it, for a committed or casual relationship to kick off, the individuals must observe differences between their targets among other potentials, which makes them ‘attractive’ before making the pick. From there, lots of factors come into play, from motivations to picking out the moods, temperaments, and intentions of your target. To put it in simpler terms, it takes a ‘skilled’ adult to judge the intentions and desires of the other party, even if they’re hidden. From here, they are able to decide on further action.
Need for Casual or Long-Term Dating
For men, the need to be loved, and cherished is actually major. It’s, therefore, no surprise that many men exhibit such shocking urgency and eagerness to win the attention of women, both physically and across online dating websites and apps.
Of course, that need or powerful desire for intimate companionship is evident with both genders, being more prominent in men, or perhaps being more ‘obvious’ in men. The effects that this need for companionship has on people can be easily identified, manifesting in various forms of behavior classes.
We have all come across or know a male character belonging to this class. It is essentially the desperate man. The need for companionship is so powerful that it overpowers even common sense or reasoning. As such, the poor guy can end up devoid of any values, standards, and beliefs. He focuses only on pleasing the woman who gives him the barest of attention to make her stay.
Ever taken part in such a scenario as a man? Trust me, the psychological impact is pretty serious. This is something you need to avoid at all costs. With modern innovations, however, social platforms like dating websites should provide a solution. You can turn to them to find your perfect match who will sync with your values and give you mutual love, attention, and respect. Failure to do so will cause you to lose yourself before you know it, more so to a disloyal woman.
Ever heard of the involuntary celibate? It’s quite easier than you may think to deteriorate psychologically to this point! Men (or women) in this class view relationships in a very different way than one normally would. They are considered to be lacking in etiquette social skills. They only view the other partner as sex objects for their satisfaction. Now, a dose of extensive loneliness can easily turn you into one of these.
Signs to Lead to Improper Behavior
The beauty of our psychological inclinations is that they can be modified through conscious and deliberate effort. It’s always healthy to admit it to yourself that we have become the typical incel and rectify it as best as you can. Wondering how you can self-evaluate and diagnose? The common tell-tale signs are:
- A tendency to be attracted by misogynistic sexual content or conduct. Of course, we all have our sex vices, fantasies, and all that. But if your tastes incline more toward violent and repressive gratification, you might want to evaluate your relationship status and experiences.
- A materialistic or shallow approach to dating is also a red flag that should prompt you to re-evaluate your approach to relationships and dating in general. If you’re always quick to assume and conclude that your lack of money, looks, and status is the reason behind your rejection, then you could easily be falling victim to this psychological ‘disorder’.
MGTOW (Men Going Their Way)
Finally, we have those (mostly men) members of our society that have completely canceled out the other gender to be irrelevant in their lives. Unsurprisingly, this class is often dominated by divorcees. Among them, there are also those that have suffered serious rejection or betrayal by those they were seriously devoted to. It is also unfortunately characterized by a violent disposition towards the gender that wronged them.
If you find yourself going down this road, get back on the horse, and re-establish your views on both casual dating and long-term relationships. Will yourself to see the good in the people you interact with. Accept their flaws and shortcomings, hence allow yourself to find love. It’s also very much like re-learning the skills of the game, adjusting your mindset to see and experience the joys of love!
Improving Your Dating Game
Given all this insight into the psychology of dating, it’s important to find positive ways to betterment. Remember, it takes conscious effort to lock these skills down, whether you’re doing it physically or exploring online dating options. A great place to start would be to improve your personality and fine-tune it into one that your dates can warm up to and adore.
Both relationship gurus and psychologists often identify six male personalities. Let’s take a quick look at the two most common ones that we encounter.
The name surely speaks for itself. They are charming, attractive (physically/mentally), envied by many, and, of course, very popular. They are loved by the women and often show traits of great leadership skills, independent, and typically masculine.
This one is a bit sensitive, dependable, easy-going, and modest about their appearance and achievements. They are sociable but not very talkative, not very successful, but faithful, and even more realistic than the alpha. They are, however, often less masculine and least accepted by women.
These two extremes indicate that people generally respond to certain qualities. If you look around your social circles, you can easily identify both types. Think of how they fare when it comes to dating. Now, it’s pretty tempting to say that adopting the alpha personality is the right approach to easing your dating woes. However, such a deceptive move will never wok in the long run. You would have to live a lie and will surface the reality sooner or later.
What to Do to Improve Your Dating Interaction?
Rather, recognize that modern society has become quite accepting and open-minded. As such, the traditional alpha male is no longer the only star attraction. There are lots of other traits that are becoming increasingly popular. As we wind up, let’s take a quick look at some of the attractive features that you can exhibit to improve your dating game.
- Be confident. The best way to boost your confidence is by finding something you are good at or that you like and then improving your skills. Now, once done, evolve your conversations or date around that, but be careful not to overdo it. For instance, if you love art, educate yourself with the finer details about it and then visit a gallery on your date.
- Excellent Grooming. Everyone appreciates a good body scent, hygienic conduct, and a well-groomed presentation. Do your best to always look and smell the best! Check out some cool date outfit ideas on our blog for a great look.
- Self-control. Never be quick to judge, anger, comment, refute, or conclude. Instead, practice self-control, always giving your partner enough space to explain or express themselves. Even in anger or disappointment, avoid making scenes or overacting and handle it all calmly and maturely.
- Be considerate. Appreciate that different people see things differently. As such, always seek to see the other person’s point of view and aim for a compromise rather than always holding on to your ways and views.
- Commit. Whether it’s a casual fling or a long-term relationship, commit to it, giving it the attention it deserves. Make sure your partner feels appreciated and wanted. Check out this blog on why it’s so important to support your partner for a healthy relationship and get to know why it’s essential.
Ready to venture into the dating arena again? Bring your A-game, and you will surely make it through. If you don’t know where to start, the Wickedlist dating website is a great place, providing you with endless dating opportunities that best suit your current desires. Good luck!