Your partner’s BFF is an essential entity in your partner’s life. The fact that they are close to your partner might be a lot to stomach, mainly because you are all sharing affection to your partner, though, on different spectrums. It means it might get a little cringy, and you may feel a little “hate” for your partner’s BFF – we’ve all been there! However, there’s often no need to be concerned. Join us as we explore how best to deal with your partner’s BFF.
Get to Know about Your Partner’s BFF
Chances are your partner will spend a lot of time with their BFF. If you do not know the BFF that well, you might end feeling a little insecure, especially when you are still dating casually. It is why it is essential to get to know a bit about them. It means you have to try and build a relationship with them, but just remember, you do not have to invade their friendship space.
Knowing your partner’s BFF likes and the spots where they hang out with your partner will give you a sense of security. It can also help build trust between the BFF and you. Try not to resent your partner’s BFF from the get-go – it might mess up your relationship.
It Is Ok for Your Partner to Have BFF
One thing you have to understand is that it is completely ok for your partner to have a BFF. Even if the BFF has the same sex/sexual orientation as you, it might be a little intimidating. But one thing you have to understand is that you are not competing with them. The main reason why your partner has a BFF is that they need one. Usually, BFF has been there for a longer time than you, and trying to kick them out of your partner’s life might not go well with your partner.
Understanding that it is ok for them to be best friends will also help you understand boundaries. You do not necessarily need to know everything they talk about. Being a little too interested in your partner and their BFF’s relationship will come off as invasive. Be casual about it, and do not step over their boundaries.
Create Your Boundaries
As much as your partner’s friendship with the BFF is essential, your relationship is also a priority. It means that you need to make sure that the friendship does not end up messing up your relationship. The best way to do this is to set clear boundaries. If you are not comfortable with how your partner and the BFF interact, especially physically, be open about it. The hugging and kissing can at times be a little overboard and make you cringe: tell your partner you do not like it. It is important if you are planning to have a long-term relationship.
Setting boundaries will help to keep you secure and trust your partner. Do not be shy about explicitly stating what you would want when it comes to the interactions. You do not have to avoid this conversation. Most friendships tend to come with some flirting, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, spell it out. Chances are they would have seen it as nothing but just fun, so they should accept your terms.
Maintaining Friendship and Relationship Balance
One thing that you would hate is competing with your partner’s BFF for your partner’s time. It might end up pushing you to build resentment towards your partner’s BFF. It then becomes essential to agree with your partner on the time they spend with you and their BFF. Make it clear how much time you would want to spend with them and how they can adjust their schedule to make it possible.
There is nothing wrong with your partner spending a lot of time with their BFF, as long as they do not end up sacrificing some partner-to-partner time. If you feel that your partner is prioritizing their BFF over you, be open about it. Communication, especially when it comes to time, is vital for wellbeing in a relationship.
Dealing with Insecurity
The most confident of people can at times feel a little insecure, especially when their partner has a BFF of the gender they are attracted to. The first thing you have to understand is that it is completely normal to feel suspicious about your partner’s relationship with their BFF. Yet, the concept of platonic friends is very much real. These two things will help you get over the insecurity.
Trust Your Partner
Your partner chose to be with you, and that should give you a sense of security. There are instances where it does happen that a partner cheats with the BFF. The Will Smith-August Alsina-Jada Smith is one example, but that is an isolated incident, and in most instances, it rarely happens. Trusting your partner will help you avoid anxiety and, in some cases, depression. If your relationship is great, don’t ruin it with insecurity.
Focus on Your Partner’s BFF Positives
There are good reasons why your partner chose their BFF. Try to focus on these positives rather than the prospect of them hitting it off in between the sheets and having casual sex. If your partner’s BFF teaches your partner some good things, or if they cheer them up when they are sad, it is a good thing.
Do Not Underestimate Your Partner’s BFF
If your partner has BFF, chances are they are the one they go and seek advice from. That’s why if the BFF does not like you, there will be a lot of friction. It is the last thing you would want in your relationship. Nothing would make your partner happier than getting along with their BFF. Try everything we talked about in this article, and we guarantee that your relationship will never be the same.
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