Winning over your partner’s family can be a pretty scary ordeal, and it can take a while. But if you’re going in for the long haul with your partner, it is something you will have to put a lot of energy into. Getting along with your partner’s family will put your partner’s mind at ease. It also eliminates a lot of potential problems that might, otherwise, have you dealing with relationship anxiety. Join us as we give you tips on how to “wow” them and win them over.
Find Out as Much as You Can about Family
There is nothing wrong with using a cheat code if you have one! Ask your partner about his or her family. I’m pretty sure your partner would not mind giving you a few useful tips before the D day. You can ask about any traditions that they have and cherish, which bottle of wine to bring, and which topics they are likely to talk about. Don’t try too hard or exaggerate anything because I can bet that they will be able to see through that.
The most essential thing is to not put pressure on yourself. You can’t become best friends with all of them and hit it off with everyone on the first meeting, and, maybe, not even on the second one, and that’s still okay. Give the relationship with your partner’s family time to grow. If you are tense, you are more likely to make mistakes, so take a deep breath and try to relax.
Show Interest & Ask Questions
It’s a known fact that most people love talking about themselves. So ask about that fishing trip her father took last month, ask about his mother’s favorite dish. It will show them that you are interested in what they have to say, and they will open up a bit more to you. You also have to remember that it is important to your partner, so get along with their family and try your best to integrate.
Try to Remember Those Little Family Details
Sometimes remembering details like someone’s birthday or someone’s favorite TV show is the best way to show that you pay attention to them. Try to make an effort to research these things or ask, so you can make those little gestures that will thaw any heart.
Maybe, your everyday outfit is the ripped jeans and dirty sneakers, but wearing that outfit when going to meet your partner’s family is not a good idea. I’m not saying you should dress like you’re going for a job interview or strangle yourself with a tie. You don’t have to completely transform yourself into something you are not. Be comfortable, but dress in such a way that shows respect to the people you are going to meet. Be impeccably dressed with a touch of casual, and do not forget to dress properly for the event. You won’t get a second chance to make a first impression if you’re meeting them for the first time, so make this one count!
Please, Mind Your Manners!
It encompasses simple things like saying “please” and “thank you”. It sounds so easy, right? Simple etiquette can be the difference between your partner’s family loving you and them downright hating you! If they see that you know how to carry yourself in social settings, they will be more eager to introduce you to family friends. And you are almost completely assured of getting an invite to any future family events. It might seem obvious, but do not belch, leave your phone in your pocket, and actually pay attention to what other people are saying. Offer to help with clearing up the table or folding up the chairs – it shows good grace.
Let Your Body Language Speak for You
A smile can make all the difference. It shows that you are approachable and want to be there. Sitting in a corner by yourself with a scowl on your face will not earn you any marks. Mingle and interact with other people, nod your head, be polite, and add a bit of humor. You will find that people gravitate more towards you.
If There Are Kids, You’re Not There to Replace the Other Party
Kids need to be handled delicately. If your partner is divorced, you should remember that you are not there to take the other parent’s place. Help your partner with handling and enjoying life after divorce. It is not a competition with your partner’s ex – you have to remember that. Be yourself and try to be as interactive as possible.
Make the kids comfortable and take an interest in their welfare. Do not try to rush the process: ask your partner to explain the situation. At first, they might see you as the enemy, but a bit of patience will go a long way. Arrange trips with the kids without your partner being there as a safety blanket. Plan new and fun activities with them, create fond memories and watch how time is doing the rest.
Try Not to Lose Your Cool during Family Meetup
Some family members may intentionally try to make your life miserable whether you are in a long-term relationship, or you are already married. There might be that aunt or uncle who is always passing those underhanded comments or just does not like you. Talk to your partner about it and try to find out if anything is causing that behavior. If communicating with your partner about it is giving you problems, find out how to improve communication in your relationship. Whatever happens, be civil and do not get down and dirty with them. If the situation is too volatile, it is better to avoid being around until things calm down.
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