A new relationship, even if it’s just casual dating, can give you this overwhelming sense of euphoria, like you’re walking on air. It paints everything in varying shades of rose gold, and you feel as if nothing can go wrong. However, we should practice noticing those red flags that identify your relationship needs you to rethink some behavior patterns, or it doesn’t work anymore for both of you. Read on while we show you what just a “cute habit” is and what is not.
Red Flags #1: Your Partner Is Incapable of Apologizing
It should trigger a flashing red light in your brain. A healthy relationship consists of two adults who are capable of saying “I’m sorry” when they are wrong. If your partner hurts you, and instead of apologizing, they give the silent treatment, then, maybe, it may be time to excuse yourself from the entire relationship.
People who are incapable of apologizing can twist and warp a situation and guilt-trip you into thinking that, perhaps, it’s your fault he slapped you the other time. Or, maybe, it’s your fault she cheated with that guy who has a killer body, or you are mind-numbingly boring, and that’s why he was chatting up anything in a skirt. No, it’s not. The problem is not with you – it’s with them. If they don’t see the need to change or fix this, it’s high time you leave. No apologies. Even if it’s a long-term casual relationship, you should never have to put up with that.
Red Flags #2: They Isolate You from Friends & Family
If you constantly hear statements like “I don’t like that friend of yours, why do you always meet her?” or “Your sister is nosy, stop being around her all the time”, maybe, you need to start questioning a few things. A partner who wants you all to themselves and isolates you from other people is a huge red flag. They might even lie or cause unnecessary arguments to effectively tear apart and damage your relations with the people around you.
They want your world to revolve around them, and it also won’t hurt them because they make you lose your support structure, in case they do something to you, and you need it. Isolating someone and making sure you’re all they have is a subtle way of asserting control over them and stripping away the protection they might gain from their other relationships. If you notice this pattern of behavior in your partner, isolate yourself from them.
Red Flags #3: They Are Violent towards You
This one sounds obvious, right? But it’s not. People tend to make endless excuses for those they love. They will come up with every story under the sun to explain that slap or black eye. Don’t do it! Violence always starts with the “little” things, like slaps or a slight tap on the arm, but it almost always escalates. One day it’s a slap, and the next, you’re in a hospital with three broken ribs and a concussion.
We know nobody is flawless, but a tendency to be violent is not a flaw that you can afford to ignore. No bouquet in this world is big enough to make up for the awkwardness and the discomfort that comes with having to make up an unending mountain of lies trying to explain away those purpling bruises all over your face and arms. Run before you have a mountain of hospital bills to take care of, even if you feel you have invested a lot in your long-term relationship.
Red Flags #4: If They Are Too Possessive
It might seem flattering at first, but it’s a really huge problem that could be an indication of something bigger. If you find yourself having to report where you are every half hour, you need to start getting worried. Being possessive can show up in lots of different ways, and some might seem innocent at first.
If your partner wants all your social media passwords to “check if you are behaving”, or if they tell you not to wear a particular outfit because it makes you look “too beautiful” even when going on dates with them, or they tell you not to befriend people of the opposite sex or are constantly showing public displays of affection, even in the most inappropriate places to show they “own you”, then there is a humongous problem. No question about it!
What Are the Reasons and Where It Can Lead You
A healthy relationship should not leave you feeling like you’re under constant surveillance, don’t allow anyone to make you feel stifled and barely able to breathe. People who exhibit signs of being possessive usually become aggressive if they don’t get what they want. They are willing to do almost anything to make sure that you conform to a set of rules and act in the way they want you to act.
A possessive character might stem from the need to always control everything, including the person you are dating. It might also be the result of the existing insecurities caused by past disappointments or cheating. Advice your partner to seek help and long-term relationship advice if they exhibit this kind of behavior and help them find information on how to deal with relationship insecurities. If they are not willing to make an effort to improve, it might be time to cut ties.
Red Flags #5: If You’re Too Scared to Tell Your Partner How You Feel
You should be able to open up to your partner about things that cause you displeasure, whether your partner is the cause or it’s someone else. If you find yourself pretending to be okay with a situation or folding in on yourself when your partner upsets you, then it’s a clear indication of a problem in your relationship. Your partner should not yell at you, call you some hideous names, or gaslight you because you calmly highlighted a problem in your relationship. If your partner makes you feel stupid or silly for complaining about something, or they make you feel as if you imagined the problem, and you’re complaining unnecessarily, that is a clear sign of gaslighting.
How you feel should always be valid. Your partner should be willing to address any issue that upsets you or causes any kind of discomfort, so please find ways to improve communication in your relationship. Your partner should not guilt trip you or make you feel like you can’t approach them with a problem. If your partner disappears or “goes ghost” whenever you bring up an uncomfortable topic, it’s time to never disturb them again! Ghosting is one of the worst ways to handle a complicated topic. If you see yourself starting to avoid addressing any issue that might make them disappear, it’s time to walk out.
Is your partner ghosting? Are they violent towards you? Maybe the time to walk away is up. Let us be your guide to the perfect relationship. Looking for that sizzle that comes with a new relationship? Sign up for our free online dating services all over the USA at Wickedlist and start living your dream love-life!