Some complicated situations might directly or indirectly cause strain in a relationship if they are not handled correctly. Being there for your partner in these situations might seem terrifying. You might be completely clueless about how to support them without sounding dismissive or how to help find solutions without seeming intrusive. Let us delve into the different ways you can handle these situations.
First of All, Listen to Them
The simple act of listening to someone else, being concerned, and taking an interest proves that person’s feelings matter for you. It shows that you care and are there to support. Listening might seem like the simplest thing to do. But it really works in order to support and help to solve it. Avoid being dismissive or making your partner feel like they are being unreasonable or ridiculous for worrying about something.
You should also avoid implying that the situation is not so bad. You might be trying to help, but it might cause even more frustration and make them feel like you’re dismissing their pain. Listening does not involve huge amounts of talking. So if you see that happening, change the strategy. Let your partner rant without you getting judgmental. They might be more inclined to keep opening up to you in the future, and it will improve your communication. Sharing a problem makes it feel lighter, so give them a chance to do that.
If They’re Not Ready to Talk, Do Not Force It
Maybe you’re in a long-term relationship or just having casual sex; either way, your partner can still decide that they are not comfortable talking to you about their problems. And that’s still okay. Some of us might feel entitled to know every bit of information about our partners. But do you tell your partner everything that occurs in your life right there and then? I’m guessing the answer is no.
Sometimes you need time to process it, so give your partner that time. Some wounds might still be too fresh, so let them stop bleeding first. Avoid creating an environment where your partner doesn’t feel comfortable sharing anything personal with you. Trust me: it will help.
Support and Help to Come Up with Viable Solutions
At times your partner might be too stressed or too jittery to come up with solutions to their problem. Anxiety or stress can make your partner impulsive and slightly reckless, or it can cause a mental block where they can’t seem to think of anything at all, and they just hope whatever is wrong goes out of existence on its own. You can be there to suggest solutions that might work, with the emphasis on the word “suggest”.
You should never force your partner to think a certain way or do exactly what you want. The final decision is theirs – you are just there to offer possible solutions to the problems at hand, not personalize the problems. Encourage your partner to also think about how they want the problem handled, then together figure out what the best solution is if they are willing to go this way. Sometimes you might feel like the problem is too overwhelming for just the two of you. Then, ask your partner if they are okay with the idea of seeking professional help and getting a third opinion on the overall situation.
Be Their Distraction and Support
When all the serious and grim discussions are done, get your partner a casual date outfit and take them dancing or do something you know that your partner loves. Take their mind away from whatever is bothering them and remind them that there are still lots of good things going on. Constantly dwelling on a problem might lead to depression and severe anxiety attacks.
Tackle the problem, but try as much as you can not to let it consume your partner. Teach your partner those new dance moves, take them hiking, take them for a romantic dinner, or just for a movie. It will make a huge difference and brighten up their dreary day, and you can become that knight in shining armor and leap to the rescue!
Do Not Let Your Partner Use You as an Emotional Punching Bag
Yes, they are hurting, they got retrenched, or their family is giving them hell on earth. We understand, but that is no reason to let your partner mistreat you or take their frustrations out on you. If there is a lot of misdirected anger flying all over the place, it may be time for your partner to learn how to manage their anger. They should find healthier ways of letting the tension seep out. If you’re experiencing this, sit down with your partner and ask them the real reason they are so irritable and furious.
Maybe, there is something they left out, or they just need to cry and rant. If that is the case, be there while they cry it out. After all is said and done, you will notice that the frustration that was boiling beneath the surface will have reduced drastically. If there’s no change, you may have to seek expert help and find out the multiple ways to deal with relationship depression.
Wrong Support Strategy: Do Not Make This About You!
If you get tempted to start narrating all the previous problems that you think were similar, don’t do it! It is not about you, and stop hogging all the attention. It is the time for you to be there for your partner and lend them your strength. They might need more attention than they would usually want, and that’s okay. If they can’t give you as much attention as they usually do, you might feel like grumbling a bit, but remember, they have a lot weighing them down.
It’s normal to feel that way, but if you get insecure because of the reduced attention you’re receiving, it may be time to read up on how to deal with insecurities.
Is your partner going through a rough patch, and do you feel helpless, clueless, or like you’re lost at sea when it comes to helping them? Of all the long-term dating relationship advice you can ever get, just remember that even the best of us go through stressful periods. But it all always comes to an end! Don’t have a partner to weather tough times with? Wickedlist got your back wherever you are in the US! Sign up for our free online dating services and pick the ideal partner who suits your needs: from casual dating to long-term relationships!
My ex definitely had no idea on how to support me, and that was the main reason for our breakup. He just got angry when I was sad about my family or work issues.
And my bf does tell me the stories how he has coped with the same situations in the past. Something like ‘listen to the calm music or drink a glass of whiskey’. I hate whiskey and can’t stand the calm music when I’m angry or irritated. And his stories and pieces of advice make me even more annoyed!!