For some people, sex is the utmost sign of affection, and relationships cannot do without it. For others, sex is just a physical act that is a part of a relationship and has nothing to do with affection. It is just a confirmation of physical attraction. The fact that we look at sex differently means that we value it differently in terms of its importance in relationships. There are some people out there that are not willing to engage in sex during a relationship. Well, it is quite common and perfectly normal.

Some people might not be willing to engage in sexual activities, even if they are already in a long term relationship. The decision not to engage in sex in a relationship can be influenced by different reasons. The reasons vary, depending on the person and their character and beliefs.

Reasons Why People Abstain from Sex in Relationships

Health-Related Issues

It is one of the most common reasons why some people in the relationship might want to abstain from sex. There are dozens, not hundreds of STIs out there, and having sex increases your chances of catching them. These illnesses are transmitted by having sex, and although most of them are curable, some are still to have therapy or medication. Those that still do not have a cure include HIV and Herpes. Getting an STI is an unpleasant experience, and that fear alone might be enough to force someone to abstain.

There is also a chance that your partner might not be in perfect health to have sex. It is quite common, especially in the early days of parenthood. Having sex might get them sick. Some of the health conditions that might force people to abstain include diabetes, chronic illnesses like cancer, and also conditions like erectile dysfunction. Not being in perfect health is often the cause why most people might not be having sex, even though they are in relationships.

Religious Beliefs

Certain religions are very strict when it comes to issues to do with sex. Some religions require their congregants not to engage in sexual activities until they meet certain conditions like marriage. In most religions, casual sex is taboo. It means that until you put a ring on it, the cookie jar might not be opening. It is one of the causes of why people will not have sex until they get into a lifelong relationship. Religious beliefs are essential to certain people. If their religion makes it a point for them to abstain, chances are they will not engage in sex fun even if they fall in love.

Past Experiences

Sex can be emotional. And if someone experiences terrible sexual encounters, they might choose to abstain from making love to avoid conjuring up the memories of their previous sexual encounters. It is common for people that have been in toxic relationships and have been abused sexually. For them, having sex might end up bringing back their traumatic experiences. In this instance, abstaining might be one of the best decisions they can make. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person who has this mental health issue, the best decision is not to press and ask them to visit a psychologist. Your only way is to support them during the therapy.

Can Relationships Work Without Sex?

Well, no two relationships are the same, but what we can assure you is that there is more to a relationship than sex. The main problem comes when one person in a relationship wants to engage in sex, and the other might be planning to abstain. It is a very tricky situation, and if not handled correctly, it can lead to a break-up. There are some steps you can take, though, to make sure that your relationship flourishes even if there is no sex.

why people abstain from sex

How to Make Relationship Work without Sex

Communicate about Sex in Relationships

The essential aspect that can keep any relationship intact regardless of the situation is communicating. If you want to abstain, make it clear to your partner in the early stages of the relationship. It will give them a chance to make decisions. If you want to have sex in your relationship, highlighting it to your partner can make it easy to reach a consensus.

Find Alternatives to Sex in Relationships

Although you might not be having sex, you might try out some other ways to make sure that when you are horny, you and your partner can deal with it effectively. Some of the alternatives to sex may include mutual masturbation. Although no penetration is involved, there is a great degree of intimacy that comes with masturbation. You can also add hand jobs on the menu. This way, you are assured of an explosive orgasm.

Sexting, tantric sex, and dry humping may also serve as perfect alternatives to penetrative sex. To spice it up a little bit, you can add some fun sex toys. They bring a whole new dimension to sex even if there is no penetration. If you are a fan of BDSM, then you can add in some nipple play. Nipple clamps are the perfect tool for this.

If You Can’t Do It, Leave!

Most people tend to blame lack of intimacy when they are caught cheating on their partners. It is just a lame excuse, and it will do nothing but hurt your partner. If a relationship without penetrative sex is not your cup of tea, make it clear to your partner and leave. Cheating is never a solution, and it will sour relationships between you and your partner.

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